


How to Woo a Gem -- A Guide by Peridot

by 52for3you16



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: AU where Peri's super gay, F/F, Peri is super poly, Peridot centric, Polyamory, moreso than canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/52for3you16/pseuds/52for3you16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot sets off to reveal her feelings to all of her friends, platonic or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Woo a Gem -- A Guide by Peridot

Sounds of typing respond from a tablet that obviously has its volume on the highest setting, and a search has been inputted on... Doogle.

A very odd search engine.

It reads: "how do i romance someone?"

The results, at least, the bolded ones, read respectively:  
"Be SEXY!!! Buy Kosmofucklitan today!!!!!"  
"Be super confident and sexy with Smolgate Whitening Toothpaste!!!"  
"SEXY haircuts!!! They're sure to turn you on!!!!!!"

None of these make much sense to Peridot, but there's one thing in common with all of these. And it's this odd, new term referred to as... "sexy". Whatever this "sexy" thing was, she wasn't sure. But she supposed it was good enough to deem as a mission. So, she set off to find whatever the hell was a "sexy".

Sitting next to her roommate, Lapis, she pulled her knees to her chest, staring over at the other rather intensely. Her comrade was rather attractive, with soft and dark eyes, pouted lips, and a slender, feminine frame. Definitely one of the most attractive Lapis Lazulis out there. However, she didn't blink much, and this caused the said blue gem to look her way, obviously a feeling off-put by being stared at in a rather creepy manner. She always knew she shouldn't trust a Peridot, let alone have one be her fucking roommate. This was getting weird

"What the hell is that look for, Peridot?" Lapis asked, scooting away from the other ever so slightly. This was getting too strange too quickly, and she didn't really know what to think.

Peridot, who completely misses the signs that Lapis is obviously disturbed, leans over, and gently pokes her cheek, squinting her eyes. A moment of silence passes before she speaks, and it's the strangest question she'd ever asked.

"Are you a sexy?" 

Lapis' eyebrows furrow for a second in deep concern, but a few seconds later, she bursts into laughter, clutching at her stomach as she giggles away. Once she'd calmed down, she looks back over at the now irritated Peridot, offering a gentle smile. "You really don't know what that means, do you?"

Peridot's lips press together into a thin line as she slowly shakes her head no. Yeah, she didn't understand modern day human culture.

Lapis sighed, knowing this might be a little awkward to explain. "Well... sexy, it's a way of describing anything that, umm... well, y'know, gets someone, y'know."

"No, I don't know, that's I asked you."

"It's something that, uh, turns someone on. There. I said it."

Peridot's mouth makes a big "O", and immediately, her face turns a bright green. This is way more awkward than explaining the sometimes explicit things that go on in "Camp Pining Hearts". 

"Well, uh, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to give a lame excuse now to leave because this is awkward and awkward is useless. Not like you are. Because you're not."

"Just, uh, go."

"Okay."

\----

So, asking Lapis about that was officially out of the question. Or asking anyone for that matter. Maybe this was a road Peridot would have to travel on her own.

A road of romance.

Or at least, that's what she planned for it to be.

Since when was she so content on dragging herself into romance? Flirting? Dating? It wasn't like her. But after seeing what Ruby and Sapphire were like unfused, it'd be a lie to say she wasn't jealous.

Looking through the useless examples on the internet, she eventually gave up, simply going to rely on instinct, and the things she picked up in her favorite fanfic, where Percy and Pierre finally become the power couple. She really needed to see if that updated.

But not now! No, she had some work to do. Applying human makeup to her face, that being simply eyeliner and lipstick, she phased into different clothing, down into a more revealing dress, as well as some flats. (Showing off toes is for clods!!! Unless you're Lapis. Then you're excused.)

Marching on over to Lapis, she allowed her visor to phase away, revealing her large, bright yellow eyes. Without a word, she tapped on the other's shoulder, and the other quickly turned around to face her. An instant blush went spread across Lapis' visage, and she offered a smirk which looked much more awkward and flustered than it had ever been. 

"Uh, what's with the outfit? Is there a special occasion I'm unaware of?" the Lazuli asked, eyebrows scrunching in worry over the subject. She wasn't good with these things.

"Actually, I'm here to ask you if a gem like you would be interested in watching the stars with a gem like me? I know it's weird coming from me, but..." The smaller gem sighed, eyes cast to the ground, practically glued there. "I think you're really great, Lazuli. Er, Lapis. Sorry."

"It's... it's okay. And, uh..." Lapis tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, taking in a sharp breath, "yeah. I'd like that a lot, actually. Can you give me a minute to get ready?"

Peridot breaks into a grin that makes the taller gem giggle, and she clears her throat before answering. "Of course. I'll, uh, meet you by the water tower?"

"Sure. It's a date." The phrase slips last her lips after watching so much of Season three of CPH (Camp Pining Hearts, obviously) that it was practically instinct after hearing it from the humans so much.

 

Peridot simply waves with an even more excited, elated grin as she walks away, and Lapis simply snorts when she heard the other gems cheer right outside of the barn. 'Very smooth, Peridot.'

\----

Lapis ends up wearing a dress similar to her normal one, except it's black with three quarter sleeves and a very low v-neck cut. They sit at the back of it so no one can interrupt their date, and timidly, Peridot had taken her hand into her own, their fingers intertwined tightly. The green gem has also snuggled herself up into Lapis' side as Peridot points out each new place in Homeworld that they can see. Although their gleam is mesmerizing, nothing about the place itself was as beautiful.

As the sun began to rise, they had already started to kiss, at first gentle and side by side, but then Lapis moves herself onto Peridot's lap, and when they're pressed against each other, it's game over.

After months of bunking together and awkward situations, they let their feelings go so the world could see, quite literally. 

They had sex against the side of that building, Lapis riding Peridot until there was no more energy to be spent. They practiced in the human ritual of sleep that morning, tangled in each other's limbs.

Peridot bid her new lover a farewell with a kiss on the lips after a ride on her back to the Crystal Gem's station. Peridot wanted to see others (romantically and just through vision) than just Lapis, and she respected that.

Today, she'd tell some of the others about how she felt about them, too.

Hopefully that would go well.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry everyone


End file.
